Reading progress update: I've read 247 out of 344 pages.

Guards! Guards!  - Terry Pratchett

‘You’re right,’ said Colon. ‘The thing about the captain, see, I read this book once . . . you know we’ve all got alcohol in our bodies . . . sort of natural alcohol? Even if you never touch a drop in your life, your body sort of makes it anyway . . . but Captain Vimes, see, he’s one of those people whose body doesn’t do it naturally. Like, he was born two drinks below normal.’

‘Gosh,’ said Carrot.

‘Yes . . . so, when he’s sober, he’s really sober. Knurd, they call it. You know how you feel when you wake up if you’ve been on the piss all night, Nobby? Well, he feels like that all the time.’

‘Poor bugger,’ said Nobby. ‘I never realized. No wonder he’s always so gloomy.’

Brilliant.